再次離題

Dated March 10, 2007

I am too afriad to be in love again. Scared of losing myself all over again. For beautiful memories that will never save me from all the evils in this world. The moment I stopped knowing what word to use to describe how I felt, I knew I would never become a writer. I no longer know how to make myself understand in literal terms of exactly what is happening to me…what is happening to this world of mine? a world that fails to contain all my sorrows, confusions, senses of loss and insecurity, desires to be loved and to love, lust, longings to get away and to run wild… It failed me. Again and again. Until the moment that I lost faith in what this world promised to offer. At one point, it promised love and forever-ness.

沒有人可以告訴我 事情的真相 事情的結局
也許也許 你跟我會一直被隱瞞著 直到永遠 直到最後的最後
有一天 當我發現 我已無法精準的描繪我想說的話 我知道 我永遠也不會成為你所謂的小說家
我只能 靜靜的讀著他人寫的書 每一本每一頁 每一個字 彷彿在炫耀著他們的才能 他們的成就
也許也許 我就只能永遠這樣羨慕著愛慕著他們 這群所謂作家的男男女女